If You Lose Me Again Dont Try to Find Me
Why Would a Guy Keep in Touch After He Already Dumped Me?
Hi Evan,
I've been dating an amazing guy who's merely just recently get "too busy" for a human relationship. I know that is really just code for him losing interest and that's okay… Disappointing indeed, but okay. Oddly though, he suggested that we have another conversation in a week'southward time to see where things are at. Soon afterward our breakup tonight, he sent me a text message maxim he was deplorable and that he'd really like to continue in affect. I told him I was open to that but that he'd have to take that stride.
Evan, I'k OK with him not wanting to date me. To be honest, he is such an amazing guy (opposite of the loser musicians and wannabe player types that I usually end up with) that I oft wondered why he was dating me in the first identify. Merely that's apparently some other outcome. Why would he carp texting afterward or carp suggesting that we have another conversation about things in a calendar week? I don't go it. Why wouldn't he only walk abroad afterward doing the dumping?
Just Dumped
Take you ever dumped someone, JD? It's a horrible, horrible feeling, right upward there with, well, being dumped. And this feeling, if you lot can imagine it, provides the full explanation for why people deed inconsistent.
Step outside your own shoes and put yourself in your partner's shoes.
As always, the best solution to beingness your own dating motorbus is to step outside your own shoes and put yourself in your partner'due south shoes. Why would he possibly practice what he did? In that location has to be some rationale. I'm merely going to channel him correct now and see what I can come up with:
"Well, I actually like hanging out with JD, simply I get the sense that she'due south starting to get fastened to me. And since I'grand such an amazing guy, and I'one thousand at a especially busy time in my life, why would I want to tie myself down to just 1 person? Plus, the longer I keep to see her, the more I'chiliad going to give her false promise and end upwards breaking her heart in the finish. And I hate that feeling. I have an ex-girlfriend who strung me forth for months and crushed my spirit, and I don't want to do the same thing to JD. Then I'k going to break upward with her. Yeah. That'south the correct affair to practice.
Why does my ex proceed contacting me when he dumped me? Mostly because you let him.
On the other hand, it's not like I ever promised to marry her or anything. I mean, she already knows I'1000 non fully committed. And so possibly after I dump her, we'll simply stay in touch and remain friends . Maybe do the occasional 'friends with benefits' affair. That way, I'm not technically hurting her. We take sexual activity from time to time, I don't take to commit, and I'm allowed to see other people. Perfect! If she lets me become away with information technology, she can't get mad at me for being a creep. In fact, I recollect she likes me so much, she'll merely be glad to encounter me once every few weeks. I'm gonna send a text bulletin to her and see how she feels…"
But that's simply my perspective as a guy who has done the same exact thing. And then to answer your question ' Why does my ex keep contacting me when he dumped me?', mostly considering yous let him.
Readers? What exercise you think?
Comments
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